Being a woman myself I often wondered why did I give up sex in my life so easily, bit of my story... as a young girl I always attracted the attention of men and people kept telling me how beautiful I was etc, this however didn't help me with my self confidence on the contrary, suffering several occasions of child molestation in which I had little awareness of what was actually happening at the time, later on as a teenager I become much more defensive around adult men, I was left feeling unsure what it was people saw in me to say that I am beautiful, so I rebelled against my feminine side and became quite boyish, only wanting to wear comfortable unsexy clothes and hang around my boys school friends my mates really I was very comfortable around them as girls did not like me so much, only ever had a couple girl friends so this beauty was really my greatest enemy and being seen as sex object because you are so called beautiful can be like a curse.
So I gave up sex very early 18 seeing that I only lost my virginity at 17 you may think its strange to became abstinent for 2 years, so I tell you why, I felt so used as a sex object I felt no man really made the effort to really get to know me, they only wanted to pay me dinner and go to bed, how sad is that! So I turned to, buddhism, astrology, the art of painting and writing when I met one of my best female friends still today and this changed my whole life, also met other older friends, artists that with the wisdom of their words helped me to grow up and embrace my femininity, my beauty.
I think lot of women would relate to becoming more masculine as a defence mechanism to avoid sexual harassment which I am sure I am not the only one that have suffered. I believe we shut down our sex drive, our sex appeals goes out the window when coming out in the shadow the Lover archetype that feeling of being used can be transformed if we choose to adopt other archetypes like the Warrior woman, super independent capable woman strong Mars energy as I am, Or the Sage woman, a woman of science, intellect or the Mystic Woman or Healer, caring for others, guiding others or if you just lucky to be blessed like I was with becoming one with the archetype of the Mother you will be sheltered to some degree from the negative effects of the traumas suffered as The Lover archetype in you weakens, so if these experiences earlier in life weren't great means its hard to go back to that innocent state of being the Lover , so women often choose to adopt strongly either one or two other archetypes can give up easily sex,
But if you were to experience the amazing empowerment of travel through these feminine archetypes and become all or balance them all the girl, the lover, the mother, the sage if we could do it all it would be great !!! Then we could be good daughters to our parents and good lovers to our lovers, good mothers to our children, good professionals, hard working women, to do this seems almost impossible how can we !!
So what I think its important to say here it is a journey and it can go forwards and backwards I saw my journey through the archetypes change so many times in my life and it has helped me immensely as I became my most sexually active at the age of 33 when i went through the shadow again of the Lover and healed that in me through my sexual healing work realising that I can be that sexy again even now I am 45 and still letting go of my Mother archetype which sheltered me for so long and now I am the Wild Woman !!!
I want to say to you if you resonate in anyway to see where in your life you have adopted the archetypes to defend you, are you still holding on to the mother when your children are grown and past needing you? Are you feeling un-sexy ? Thats the shadow of the mother archetype so get out of that role, It is no longer needed. which direction or role you want to take next is your choice but believe me it will be better there.
Dare to change and travel though the archetypes and you shall hold them all in your power one day!
A reading suggestion perhaps the book "Aspects of the Feminine" By Carl Jung.